Welcome to my blog.

I’m laura, 29 who is currently 14 weeks pregnant. I bet you are thinking oh boy here we go again. She is gunna harp on about how wonderful pregnancy is. Well that is not what this is for. Actually it sucks! Most of the time!
I want to give an honest recollection of how pregnancy is and the not so wonderful side to it that many people may not tell you about! Also I want to discuss many issues that surround pregnancy that I have found over the last few weeks. 
I can’t lie. It has been a roller coaster of emotions, hormones and utter hell at times. From constant vomiting to eating everything in sight, not eating at all and becoming a walking/talking pharmacy. 
I also would love people to share their experiences too! As this is my first pregnancy I am happy to receive any wisdom and knowledge that people have.
So please enjoy the blog and I look forward to reading your comments

Laura x


motherhood… a career move like no other

Hey Laura here!

So where do I begin?

Exactly nine weeks ago, my son made his appearance into the big wide world. After his dramatic entrance into the world, hearing his first cry was amazing! It was that point I knew I had been entered into the world of motherhood. There was an instant rush of love for him, that just oozed from every pore (that and it was warm in the delivery room) knowing that this small human bundle was entirely dependable on me for warmth, food, love and protection. Even if he did only resemble his father! He had completely changed our lives in an instant and little did we know that we were about to embark on the scariest rollercoatser of emotions.

Every single part of me was overwhlemed with excitement to have him in our home. Everything had been in place for months whilst we waited on his arrival. The spare bedroom had been transformed from a mere office space to a small sanctuary of baby delights. A small wardrobe filled with nappies, clothing and random (just in case) stuff. An armchair for breastfeeding in the night. It was by no means a big room but its practical. In our bedroom his moses basket lay next to my side of the bed as per all advise and guidleines, the glow egg sitting on the bed side table to ensure the room was well heated. We went to all of the classess, read the “manuals/ guidance” to prepare ourselves and I think in our heads, we were ready.

In some aspects were. But in all honesty nothing can prepare you for the mentally and phyically demaning changes that occur when you bring home your baby. It completly changes you as a person.

For the first few weeks sleep was a mystery in our home. What was it? where do we find it? and for the love of god where are my matchsticks??? I can not keep my eyes open!

You see, although the guidance says moses basket next to your bed, the reality was far distant from the truth. The baby hated sleeping in it! Despite every effort refused to actually sleep in the bloody thing. Even so far as trying it out for for nap times during the day, yet five minutes later and this lovely pair of beautiful eyes are once again looking up at me. He wimpered constantly in the bloody thing and wouldnt settle at all. Of course this was not his fault. He has just spent 9 months in a womb, curled up like a little ball and im trying to make him lie flat! An ongoing battle that some nights is still ongoing.

In fact the only decent place to get him to sleep was in his bouncer. Where he slept for a good solid 2 hours. Some would say this was a perfect time to sleep. But when you haven’t really slept in almost a week, “drifting” peacfeully into a slumber was impossible at times.

The minute your head touches that pillow (on the sofa) your subconsiously aware of your babys every movement, fart, burp etc.  Your brain, just decides at random to become fearful, making you behave irrational and overwhelmed. You have homed in on your baby’s breathing and concluded that in the last 2 minutes that the baby has stopped breathing and you must obseve him immediatly! Before you know it you are standing above them, staring at this beautiful creature. Knowing and seeing that he is breathing just fine!However you are now WIDE AWAKE!!!

This happened a lot! I mean at least every single time he went to sleep. To be honest I’m not sure that ever goes away. On occasion I do have to check my husband.. I panic when he doesn’t snore! Although I am getting better and can often drift off quicker now he is a little older. But I never realised that you could take sleep for granted or in fact hot meals! These are just not things you think about until a baby comes along!

For example: The last hot meal I ate before baby came along. A roast dinner, all the trimmings; roast potatoes, swede, carrot, chicken, brussel sporutes, peas, stuffing, all topped with thick gravy. I took my time, enjoying each mouthful. Adding more gravy and mint sauce when needed. I enojyed the table conversation and drank my lemonade ( I was pregnant so no wine) at a slow and steady pace. However, hot meals since the birth of my son have been incredibly different. The last hot meal was jacket potato, beans and cheese. I ate it!

But when I say ate I mean wolfed it down so quickly that I used gaviscon as a chaser! Long gone are the days of alcohol chasers that’s for sure!

You see its almost like he is in tune with the arrival of food. If we go to a restuarant he is suddenly awake and nuzzling for a boob. Unfortunatly being a breastfeeding mother, my husband or family understandably can not take over this role. Although to be fair the baby will try and find a source of milk even if its his dads shoulder. This leaves me one handed to which I normally stab away at something easy on the plate with a fork (this is now chips, any descrpition of chip it doesnt matter, they can just be easily stabbed with said fork.) However he favours the right side and being right handed  makes this task a ittle tricky.  Many times I have dropped said chip on him or they fly off the plate… the worst was spaghetti…opps! Obviously at this point I need to Thank whoever invented muslin squares, because let’s face it they aren’t for modesty they are simply for collecting excess food. Particularly when my son is feeding of the breast.

Most meals in a cafe or restaurant tend to go cold. Making it reasonable to just order a slice a cake! HEHEHE!!!

There is a very small window of opportunity to eat in general. Some occassions I will eat first whilst my husband or family member entertains the little one. Yet this does not mean I often enjoy food. Most of the time I seem to follow these rules

  1. eat meal cold
  2. eat meal too hot- establish heart burn
  3. drink too quickly make my eyes water
  4. burn mouth
  5. lose ability to chew
  6. order cake or simple things

However believe me when I say It is getting better. To other new mums and dads it does get better. Just don’t be too involved in the baby’s routine. You too, need to establish a pattern of sleep and eating because they are probably the most important factors of growing a tiny human.


Ps. Don’t feel bad because you express to people that you are tired. It’s normal to walk around like a zombie and no one should expect you to be running on full cylinders. Some days are worse than others and vice versa. Take your time!

Hospital bag checklist… the things I wish I had packed

Hi laura here!

So in the weeks leading up to the birth, I must admit I was extremely excited to pack my hospital bag. It was the start of being prepared as a parent. Packing all of the little baby grows, nappies, clothes that a little person can want or need. Yet on the other hand I found myself unpacking and repacking continually. If it wasn’t to check what I’d put in there five minutes ago.. bloody baby brain!!! It was to add extra items others had suggested.

You see the problem with going into hospital for a baby is that it’s unlike any other adventure you will undertake . How can you possibly know it’s size for clothes? How long you will be there? Etc. So after much research and seemingly getting no where I put it to social media who offered the following suggestions:

for baby: vests, baby grows, towel, teddy, nappies, Muslin squares, car seat ( most hospitals won’t let you travel home in the car unless this is with you!) and a first outfit for leaving the hospital.

Something I wish I had taken was a carrier bag to put in wet or dirty clothes. Because let’s face it babies wee.. and poo! A lot! The last place you wanna put a crappy nappy is back into your bag!

Things for Mum 🙂

The following items were suggested based on the practical elements!

baggy t shirt for labour or night dress- the last thing you wanna be doing is walking around with a giant towel/ bedsheet around your bottom half because you’ve had to take off your pj bottoms.

Socks- your feet will be freezing

Lip balm- it’s a lot of effort pushing it a baby and as much as you thing you will be able to drink sometimes it’s not practical. Also maternity wards.. are ridiculously warm!

Change for the car park, phone charger, hair bobbles, ear plugs, slippers, toiletries, toothbrush, snacks, camera and obviously your partner or birthing partner!

Despite taking all of this to the hospital I still felt that I wasn’t prepared. So I have complied an additional list for things I may have found useful. For example.. I forgot my anusol (piles get worse after labour) and boy did I know about it! Yet my cream was at home!

Nipple cream. Because nipples will get sore. When your trying to latch on baby it’s uncomfortable and after be first few attempts they can become dry!

Energy drinks and snacks for after the baby arrives. Although the ward was lovely, they stopped serving food after 5pm. I had snacks in my bag but to be honest in the hours that followed I could have eaten a scabby horse. I had never felt so Hungary and obviously this was my body’s way of recovering after the baby had arrived! I just wish I had taken more snacks with me!

Hair dryer- for the love of hair take your hair dryer! Just trust me! Because there is nothing worse than discovering the ward your on doesn’t have one!

Take in spare clothes and knickers! I know this seems very obvious, however we were not expecting to stay in hospital at all! So when little one needed to be in for several days I had begun to run out of the essentials like big pants! Lord! Asking the husband to locate several more pairs of big pants was not easy!

Following the birth you will want to shower or bathe. Trust me when I say that scent/ perfume free wash stuff is a must! The last thing you want to do is burn or sting your already ying yang! And take it from someone that knows! It’s already burning down there for add fuel to the flames!

I hope this has been useful!

Laura x

Bowling ball through a funnel springs to mind…

Hey laura here!

So after a seemingly long wait, a quick labour, long contractions and a dramatic entrance our little one arrived!

All 7lb7 ounces of squishy-ness! With the most dark blue, beautiful eyes i have ever seen! His cry was the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard and I knew right at the moment I saw him that I was in love. This little boy was going to take over my life forever!

We were only able to say a quick hello to our son as he was taken quickly to the neonatal unit. The room that was only moments ago filled with lots of people was now weirdly empty. The midwife was coming back to help me shower (after her much needed and deserved break) yet I was determined to shower myself and see my son.

Now I will be honest.. this was not as easy as it sounds.

A word of warning.. after seemingly pushing out a bowling ball sized object through a small funnel.. your bits are .. i would say painful but that’s obvious. I can only describe them as stretched beyond belief with the feeling that everything will fall out! Guys reading this.. to get an idea of how uncomfortable this is..

Open your mouth wide and pull on edges of your mouth using your fingers! Yeah keep going until it burns…

When I walked into the unit having contractions.. I walked down the corridor holding my thighs together convinced it would hold in the baby. (Who was no where near the exit). Now walking to the shower room I was holding my thighs together for dear life convinced my bits were falling out!

I’d say it was almost like a period but I would be lying… blood everywhere… pouring infact. So believe me when I say take in sanitary equipment! Maternity pads! The bigger the better!

However Do not be fooled into buying the branded packets. They are expensive! With most major supermarkets selling their own version for £1 or less. Trust me these are amazing value. Because you will go through them like no tomorrow! Blood flow is very heavy and if you tear during the birth and require stitches you will need to change them regularly to reduce the risk of infection. So what’s the point of spending money on an overpriced item that will go into the bin very quickly!

After returning from the shower it suddenly became apparent of how alive I felt! I was bursting with excitement and as the adrenaline rushed through my blood I was almost bouncing back to my bed space to get hubby and go to the neonatal unit!

To me, I practically skipped back to my bed whilst doing the best impression of John Wayne that I could do. Yet I was incredibly lucky to be up and walking around! There was no tearing or stitches required after the birth.. mainly due to the preparation during the final weeks of pregnancy.. (which is coming up in another blog) but for many women this is not an option and every delivery is different. Much to the surprise of the midwife I was up dressed and ready to leave when she returned from her break.

However, I can tell you that I do regret being so determined to walk around and not take “it easy”. Because the following day was hard! I felt as though I had been run over by a train. Clearly from the amount of muscles it had taken to squeeze out the tiny human had an impact on my body.

But before long I was at my sons bedside and I was the most happiest I’ve ever been!

Laura xx

In the words of Adam Ant… stand and deliver!

Hey laura here!

So picking up were we left off…

I’m in labour. Actual labour! After the build up this was quite scary. At some point we were leaving the hospital with an actual tiny human being!

I can honestly say I’ve no idea what caused the labour. The 60 plus miles of walking didn’t seem to help, nor the raspberry tea .. which by the way just makes you need to pee more! And when your overdue and a pumpkin is already sat in your loins, you do not want to actually pee more frequently!

However I do think it was very coincidental that the night before I consumed a ton of fresh pineapple! If anything it was how relaxed hubby and I made it. We sat down to a lovely meal, chilled out and watched tv. Had snuggles on the sofa and it was like a really weird date. there was no worrying or stressing. The house was… by my nesting standards amazing 😉 (if I say so myself)! It was just calm and contrary to belief the baby came out when he was ready!

So after establishing that I was in labour.. I walked approximately 10 feet down the corridor. Although when contracting every couple of steps actually felt more like a mile. My bottom half wrapped only in a sheet ready but I quite frankly didn’t care. The baby was coming .. apparently!

Normally when your ill or in pain you make the most of any space to lie down. This does include hospital beds. I will be honest when I walked into that room.. that bed was not appealing to me whatsoever! Firstly being sat in traffic for almost 45 minutes and the examination had made up my mind for me…I was going to stand and walk around even if it killed me. And I almost certainly did not want to lie down!

Over the next four hours I paced the floor of that little room.. making a game of walking from one side of the room to the other. I inhaled a large amount of enternox (gas and air) then waddled to the other side of the now shoulder height bed!<<<<<<<<<
;Which by the way is good for 2 things..making you sound like Darth Vada (hilarious!) and the second is for making you feel epically drunk. A great feeling when you haven't had anything for months! Downside is I had a “drunk” conversation with the student midwife… I say conversation as in it was more one sided coming from me. Telling her not to work for in the UK but to take her career abroad! Thank you to the lovely student for listening and also you do what you want! <<<<<<<<<<
or the gravitational pull to do something to get this baby out of me! But sadly within this time nothing had actually happened. on second examination my waters hadn't broken and I wasn't any further dilated than when I arrived. However it was concluded that I did need to open my bowels. This in turn could be having an impact on the movement of things.

Now I will be honest. I know I needed to poo. I knew that from the moment I woke up. Could I go? No!!!! And the previous attempts to go to the toilet even for a wee during contractions was a horrid affair! It became so uncomfortable and painful at these moments that it just made me cry. To make matters worse I just needed to pee!! So I was also dreading the thought of needing that poo! So I was grateful when they offered the medication to help! My only advice on this matter is take it! Even if it does go up your arse! The relief that came from that moment of moving my bowels! It was like a pain relief all in itself!

Following this the next stage was to break my waters.. this was done by the lovely midwife (glad I chose nursing). Again not a pleasant experience! But please don't be scared of what can only be described as a crotchet needle going into your foo! One it's a lot smaller and two it has to be done. What I did find is that the tiny hook is best used during the contraction.. this is because the sac surrounding the baby blushes during this time and makes it easier for your waters to be broken. It is uncomfortable but no where near what I was expecting from my "waters breaking."

Please take note…don't feel like a fraud when you call triage and your waters haven't gone. Because I didn't even notice! There was no loud pop, no waterfall effect, no gushing, no sounds, I didn't feel like I'd wet myself. Absolutely sod all! Nothing like I was expecting at all!

Hoorah! Finally something seems to be happening.. I can't get comfortable! Not even standing is working. Sitting on the god damn ball is NOT working! Nothing! Gas and air is now not helping!


The pressure sensation changed very quickly and this was not a pain.. this was an urge. I needed to push. But was this a trick of the mind again. I mean my waters only broke 30-45 minutes ago…

No not a trick! I'd gone from 4 cms to 10 in that short space of time and part of believed it was because I did a big poo! Nothing to do with the waters at all!

Before I know it I'm on that same sorry looking bed. I've raised the back rest up so it's now in an L shape and I'm leaning over the back of it.. screaming for an epidural… yeah missed that mark right there.. so gas and air it was. This was it. The baby was coming! Shit!

Do I have enough pairs of pants in my bag? (Clearly the gas and air is working well)

The next 40 minutes were a bit of a blur. I remember the gas and air being taken away. (Something to do with confusing the body… not that I understand why and I did put up a fight to let it go!…. my bad) I remember pushing as hard as I could and worrying about whether I was still pooing. Because the thought of any of my fellow colleagues seeing that was probably my biggest fear. I do remember the midwife saying don't push into your throat… at the time I was like what the hell are you taking about.

I totally got this the day after.. don't make any noise! Just push down and keep quiet… easier said than down but otherwise your throat will be unbelievably sore the next day! Something no one has ever mentioned!!!!!<<<<<<<<<<
ard to remember the full events…. because the amount of concentration it takes to do each push is like sitting 3 Exams at once in advanced maths.. or to that extent.. but you actually can't really take in what the hell is happening at this stage. Something no one ever bothered mentioning either!

The hardest part of the whole delivery was getting the babies head out. It felt like it went on forever! I mean have you tried to push out a tiny melon through your ying-yang? Clearly a hole that's designed for this specific purpose but you'd think with evolution that it might have adjusted or something by now… ?

To make matters worse once the head was out the little one turned back on himself and became lodged in my pelvis and the contractions stopped. (This is a rare event so don't panic)

Again this stage is a complete blur. I do know at this stage that about 20 people entered the room and assisted. My legs were now practically above my head and I was curled up into a ball like a hedgehog.. minus the spikes of course. I would be lying if I wasn't a little bit scared. But I knew as soon as the team came in I was in capable hands. Both of us were safe and I just let them do what they needed to do. Getting worked up was not going to help anyone. That and when your trapped in stirrups what else can you do? <<<<<<<<<<
iam arrived at 3pm.

Approximately 2 hours after the waters broke. His dad says he shot out like a little rocket ship. Propelled by his own poo. He was whisked to the other side of the room where the medical team intervened and assisted his breathing. I held him for only a couple of minutes before he went to the neonatal intensive care unit. Again I was calm… He was in safe hands. Also not much you can do when your patiently waiting for the after birth to follow.. which also got bloody stuck! I do remember thinking that none of this was in my bloody birthing plan!!!!!! There was no delayed cord clamping. He wasn’t put straight to my breast for feeding. We didn’t even know his gender when he came out. This was no episode of Call the Midwife. <<<<<<<<<<
traumatic entrance into the world, a bilateral pneumothorax, intravenous antibiotics for serval days my son is now at home. He is 17 days old and doing really well. I can't thank the staff enough at Derriford hospital. Their quick actions and response were amazing! They were compassionate, caring and made our journey wonderful!

An epic adventure into the start of motherhood eh?

Laura xx

And it began…

Hey laura here!

So at 41 weeks and 3 days. Our little boy decided it was finally time to come out!

I will be honest having many false starts, I actually was in denial when the contractions started yet again. At 3am I got up and walked around the living room, grabbed the hot water bottle and slept on the couch until 5am. There was a slight intensity of pain but to be honest nothing that I hadn’t experienced in the previous 5 weeks. Although! A major factor in deciding I was in labour was in fact the inability to use my stairs. I mean this is like any other house in Britain, it has about 12 stairs. Yet the 20 minute commute to the landing was no way I would call “fun.” However at this stage I was extremely determined to get to the top and have a warm bath. Given that paracetamol and a hot bottle were bloody useless too.

Yeah again this part was no picnic. Trying to lift my legs into the bath and back out again.. not cool! I only lasted 10 minutes in there before concluding that the hospital was the only way forward.

Lesson one. If one thinks they are in labour do not go up the bloody stairs. It took another 30 minutes to get to the bottom, in which time hubby had packed out belongings had a shower and was now stood at the bottom with my shoes (he is a gem).

The car journey to the hospital was bloody awful. It was uncomfortable! With contractions lasting for 2-3 minute and every minute apart. Yet part of me was in denial. I didn’t honestly think this was labour at all! I was actually petrified of getting to triage and they saying nope still only 3cms down.. go home.

To make matters worse we got stuck in traffic outside the hospital for what seemed like a life time. We could see the hospital. It was literally in arms reach but to be sat in the bloody car next to it.. was not great 😒. At the one I was extremely anxious and also was also very aware of the drivers and passengers in other cars. I’m not sure why but I was utterly convinced they knew what was happening. So looking out of the window wasn’t an option for distraction. I didn’t want to make eye contact with anyone, convinced that they would know that the grimacing face was a gateway to the bowling ball out of the vagina situation.

On arrival to the maternity doors, I gave my name and booked in. Out particular hospital, the maternity ward is down one level from the actual reception. In my infinite wisdom decided that walking there would be great. Yeah considering the amount of time it took me to get up the stairs you would think I would have learnt my lesson. Just no. Walk two steps.. contract for 2 mins.. now they are a little more painful.. lovely husband currently parking the car but I knew I had to get to maternity! I can’t describe it. I just knew I had to get to the unit! I needed pain relief, I needed it now!

(Thank you to the lovely midwife louise, who stopped before the start of her shift to walk with me down to the unit. She was kind, considerate and very patient!)

Finally at 7.30! We all arrived at maternity triage. Next stop assessment and delivery!

Laura xx

Whatcha got cooking?

Hey laura here!

So at 40 plus 6 weeks there is still no baby! We are indeed overcooked… and boy has it been a long long few weeks! my lovely uterus still irritable like a fish out of water! Confused by the little one being in the cephalic (down postition) but equally being back to back, the uterus can’t make up its god damn mind! Leading to several false start labours!

However, after the second false start I was a little naughty. You see after 2 days the contractions would ease.. and I would emerge into the daylight.. bewildered from lack of sleep. At the third one I ignored the pains. (This is not recommended by the midwifery team and please always seek advise as each case is different)

I still monitored each episode. Pain would start in my lower back accompanied by period type cramping in my lower abdomen. After a short while they would build and build until the pain was unbearable. Typically the pain then moves into the upper abdomen over the fondus area (top of the bump) and everything seems to build in a rhythmic pattern.

Normally over the space of a few hours. After 12 hours they were 2-3 mins apart lasting between 1-2 minutes. But after 3 days… they stopped. This has happened five times! FIVE! In total. Warm baths, movement and regular paracetamol did not help.

These my fiends were no Braxton hicks! These have been contractions!

Like in my last post there are differences! (Yes I know I haven’t had any other pregnancies to compare but I am a lady who is nosey and likes to be informed so I asked my midwife)

Braxton hicks can normally be eased with rest, hydration or movement. These little contractions are and have been buggers.. they have literally been regular to a T.

After each episode I’ve been exhausted. Mainly spending most of the time sleeping throughout each day, eating and drinking plenty. Building up for the next episode as they occur. Because when this happens you can’t concentrate on anything. You feel like you just want to pee all of the time. Your bowels are equally confused as the little persons head is buried deep in your pelvis everything becomes a mystery to your body.

Each time there have been different signs. The first two episodes were at around 35/36 weeks and then nothing for a f w weeks. At this point we went to the hospital. If anything because we were advised to and there is a 25% of pre term labour. (So not completely naughty after all). Only 1/2 cm dilated we went home.

Again advised not to bring on labour by using natural methods due to the position of baby. But continued walking each day. Mainly to prevent the inside of my house from feeling like a prison cell. There is only so much nesting one can do!!! And also to feel just a little bit like I hadn’t lost the ability to walk. I mean I can’t see my feet but that doesn’t mean they aren’t actually working..

The fourth episode, at 39 weeks and 4 days, I felt extremely tired. The episode only lasted about 18 hours. However I did lose part of the mucus plug. (Yes it’s true. It doesn’t always come away in one go.. and yes it doesn’t mean that you are labouring. In fact it’s probably just a nice way to know that the cervix has started to do something) HOORAH-ish! But still no further dilation of the cervix boooo! But still a little exciting!

At 40 weeks I underwent a membrane sweep. Now this is no picnic! The midwife does not make you sweep the floor. You are in a similar position to that of a smear test. So we all know how uncomfortable this can be. The idea is simple. The midwife uses a finger to stimulate the opening of the cervix thus creating a chemical response within the body. Designed to make your body comply and help kick start labour.

Please be patient, it can be uncomfortable, painful depending on the position of the cervix and you may experience a lot of darker discharge… so wear the correct panty liner for afterwards. The midwife will also be able to tell you how effaced, dilated and position of the cervix at this point too.

At this stage I’m 1cm, not effaced and the cervix is posterior… ffs! But I’m now encouraged to walk more! Yay! Come on baby let’s encourage you out!

That was Wednesday…. nothing happened . Nothin at all! However Thursday was a whole different kettle of fish! Large cramping has now also taken over the top of my legs. I feel like I’ve run a marathon. They are weak and like jelly! On top of all of the other areas. I time the contractions they come and go again every 2-3 mins. They are relentless. Unbearable! I can’t walk, talk the pain takes my breath away. My whole body is stopping me in my tracks. So of course I call triage! They agree labour has started!

After driving to the hospital for examination..the midwife confirms we haven’t progressed and it’s best to go home. Fully effaced cervix, it’s in the wrong position and still only 1cm… 1 fucking cm dilated!

Again we go home. Still contracting.. this lasted for three days. Three days of lying over the gym ball, pacing the floor, trying walks (I say trying… getting to your front door and having to stop every 2 mins is not fun.. and you look like a tit to everyone else and you make almost mooing noises 😒)

Sitting on the gym ball, lying on the floor with your pelvis in the air! The baby has also changed position. No longer can I feel it’s little bottom under my belly button hut I can not feel a little spine. The kicks are further away than they have been and we were ready to keep going.. until we got to Saturday and everything just stopped!

They just stop! Just like that! No warning. No nothing they literally just stop! Although Slightly relieved that I can now sleep but equally extremely disappointed. I can’t do anything to bring on contractions. The baby has also wriggled itself back to back… for the love of this child! Luckily yesterday I went for another sweep. We are now three cms dilated, the cervix is soft and fully effaced and nearly in the correct position. The second sweep really took it out of me. I have felt nauseous, extremely tired and very emotional. The only advise I can seem to find is a change of hormone that occurs after this process but not every women or sweep is the same.

No contractions as of yet but the tightenings are increasing.. hopefully this time it may not be a false start. Failing that induction begins next Monday!

I can’t wait to meet the little one!

Laura x

In the words of spongebob… I’m ready..

Hey laura here.

So since starting maternity leave I have embarked on a journey of pampering. I will be honest it had probably been the only time in my life that my eyebrows and finger nails have be cared for so well. I have loved it! Nice long soaks in the bath, surrounded by bubbles… candles. Body scrubs and salts!

My feet are no longer worn down by 12 plus shifts at work… no longer cramped into my lovely Clark’s shoes and cracked at the heels… but resemble the great smoothness of an egg shell! Toes are different mind! Do you know how hard it is to actually reach them? .. the nails are cut. That in itself is an ACHIEVEMENT!

My skin is beautiful. No longer am I dehydrated through lack of water intake at work.. it glistens! Shinning brightly in the bathroom light as I moisturise every part of me! That is correct! I have become a girly girl! And I am proud! Ok even if I can’t be bothered right now to put on make up at least I have the basics down. I just think working such long hours we actually forget about these things. You know the things that make us special at the end of the day..

it used to be a bag of chips and a beer!

I have loved every minute of pampering and treating myself over the last 5 weeks whilst I patiently wait for baby. If I was a rich lady I may have even splashed out on a few sessions at the nail salon or beauty place but where is the sense of achievement in that. Plus this way if my waters do go I won’t be embarrassed by leaving a wet patch on their chairs.. just saying! Besides everyone tells me I won’t have time to do any of this or apparently anything when the baby actually comes so for now I’m making the most of it! So there!

Hereby I enclose the list of pampering success

  • Legs, underarms and bikini line trim (I’m not doing the whole thing.. I can’t risk cutting down there when I can’t see it all.. no looking in a mirror doesn’t help)
  • Nails clean, trim, filed
  • Freshly bathed and smelling beautiful!
  • Skin exfoliated thank you to lush!
  • Hair is washed and blow dried
  • Skin is now moisturised thank you to Vaseline intensive
  • Feet are smooth..
  • one relaxed mama bear to be!

Ok… to some people this might seem like the biggest waste of time and no I do not just do this all freaking day. An hour tops. Otherwise my nesting and sleeping won’t get done at all! That would be super sad!

In my head I would also like to think that I will be a glamour model when giving birth; when in actual fact I know this not to be true but hey.. I can dream big can’t I?

I just don’t want to be unprepared. This baby is coming at some point in the next 2 and a half weeks wether I like it or not. It won’t care, the midwife and medical staff won’t care what I look like. But I do! It’s just a small confidence issue that many women have shared with me. And I totally get it.

One woman even described how she went to get a spray tan 10 mins after her waters broke just to feel lovely! Add a glow and feel just that little bit empowered!

Ok not a great look 2 hours in and your sweating. She said in hindsight that was probably not the “best thing to do…”

oh how I laughed.. mainly when she described the colour of the sheets after delivering and the midwife thought she had pooped every where! Epic! (Thanks for letting me share that!)

Or the other lady who wanted to shave her legs.. couldn’t reach as carrying twins.. hubby didn’t want to help so she persisted in doing it herself only to fall over and cut the back of her leg quite deep and needing stitches!

So glad it’s not just me who does stupid stuff! But I do get it! I understand that we have this inner desire to want to feel empowered as women and that urge to want to express sexuality at whatever stage of life we are at. Whether that be pampering or sticking on a bit of lippy!

Since beer is frowned upon during pregnancy booooo! I needed another outlet. I wanted to take care of myself in an attempt to help me relax. I’m sure this has some benefit to bump too. I feel ready to take on the next big challenge. Taking a hot bath has soothed my aches on more Than one occasion. Some may even argue that they don’t have time to do this. But why?

Why don’t we make time for ourself in our every day busy life. To just switch off and have 5, 10 or even 30 mins to just unwind from the stresses of life. (Surely this is normally what the beer or wine is for right?)

This whole experience has taught me one major factor… That actually it’s ok to just sit some where in peace and do nothing. I feel like I have totally changed as a person. Not personality wise just.. well it’s hard to explain…I don’t have to be on the go all the time, I’m calm. Which also must be a godsend for my hubby too.

So in the words of spongebob squarepants.. I’m ready.. I’m ready (google is essential at this stage.. it’s annoying but you get the gist). I’m ready to do my thing , I feel relaxed, glam and positive to bring the baby into the world. Even if the baby is quite happy in there!

Laura x

Still … waiting…

Hey laura here!

So today I saw the midwife. Who like me is surprised that I’m still pregnant. At 39 weeks I will be honest I am a little bit fed up. I mean three is only so much Day time tv one person can handle. Luckily I have no interest in Jeremy Kyle. But even homes under the hammer had taken its toll!

I’m waiting patiently. Very patiently I might add!

The best question I have been asked this week mind .. wait for it..

Why are you so tired?

Why am I so tired? I’m not sure but I think this may have something to do with carrying a small human in my uterus. You know the same thing that weighs the same as a banana, Apple, regular pear, a bottle of 3 litre coke, a tiny human … all sitting there.. on my pelvic floor. (Antenatal class was cool!)

This stage of pregnancy has become a viscous cycle. Cleaning …. sleeping and repeat several times until bed time. I’m exhausted.. all of the time. Whereas before I couldn’t sleep at night. I could literally sleep through an atomic bomb at the moment. I’m awake for almost an hour after getting out of bed and then before you know it I’m sleeping on the sofa.

Do you know what? I don’t even feel guilty at all! I am resting!!! And it’s great. Clearly I have become a slave to my own body and I have to listen to it. Which by the way is the best and most amazing advise I have ever received!

And food! I love food again! (Again clearly in preparation mode for the main event)

Also I would like to point out that at this stage I do not want to encourage labour. Some people have given lots of recommendations to induce labour. Sex, hot curry, walking etc etc. Yep they are wives tales and equally not recommended at all. The reason being is that “these natural ways of inducing labour” can actually cause more issues down the line and can increase the risk of needing a c-section. (Yeah that doesn’t sound like something I want or need).

So yeah fed up but not desperate! Honestly think that the fed upness comes from sitting away from work almost 6 weeks. Facebook and social media doesn’t help either. I mean come on looking at cute pictures of friends babies that come up (when they were due after me) is a little bit like argh! Social media had been turned off for this reason..

but baby is happy in there. Snug warm and safe!

If nothing happens by next Wednesday we will have a sweep..

I will keep you all posted!


Things to make life a little bit more … bearable!

Hey laura here!

So today I have reached the 38 weeks pregnant milestone! No there is not a sign of any appearance from baby and yes my uterus is still irritable!

But I wanted to share with you the better parts of pregnancy. The items and people who have helped shaped the whole thing. Because let’s face it, this has not been a pleasant experience by any stretch of the imagination but at least there have been some pros to al of this.

So here goes…

Good books

I was advised very early on in my pregnancy not to become inundated by excess amounts of parenting books, websites, forums .. mums speaking from experience, not to mention the constant guidance from local authorities and leaflets. I’m sorry but in every single one piece of “information” and it doesn’t tell you when or how to wash a baby. I know this may seem like a basic thing to everyone but I’m sat here like how the hell do I even do that!?

What do I do if my baby doesn’t want to breastfeed like the leaflet tells me I have to do?

How do we get into a routine like every other parent on the planet? How is this possible when I don’t have my own routine?

So after reading the online reviews (thank you amazon users) I bought Holly Willoughbys Truly happy baby. Boy I’m glad I did. Because, not only does it offer practical advice but also an element of voice of reason. It basically tells you what you already know. Each child and baby is different! Well who’d thought that eh?

I didn’t buy any other books! I certainly didn’t need to. It has given me reassurance that we will make it work some how and I can’t express my sincere gratitude for making a practical guide that is easy to follow.

Another of my favourite books is.. Hurrah for gin! By the lovely Katie Kirby. If you haven’t read it.. I throughly recommend it! This was a Christmas present. It has probably saved my life! Whilst Holly’s book offers good guidance, Katie’s book offers so much more. It doesn’t tell you what you should or shouldn’t be doing. It tells you the ups and downs of parenting. It guides you through the next stages of having a child without a set routine of worry!

This book had saved my life because it’s written by a parent for parents who quite frankly like me do not have a bloody clue what they are doing! That children don’t have a designated manual to follow, they are their own tiny individual human selves and for Katie to make me see that.. then she has saved my life. Because up until I read her book I worried that I was going to get it so wrong. You know because people tell you that.. they actually do. They actually think that you won’t cope and need help… yes this was said to me!

Firstly let me pop out the baby… maybe then you can judge me

And secondly I’m gunna try my hardest!

alcohol free drinks. This may seem like the most ridiculous thing ever but have you ever been out in a bar, sober around Christmas time.. heavily pregnant? Yeah people still don’t get that last part. And becomes a complete mystery when they ask you if you would like a drink.

“Yeah sure I will have a coke…”

“Oh yeah your pregnant and boring” that’s when they bugger off to the bar laughing!

Ha ha ha! Yeah super funny! Actually the current guidelines recommend that all pregnant ladies are to avoid alcohol of any level at any stage of pregnancy! Yep! All of it! Gone are the days when women were advised to drink Guinness “to bring up their iron levels.” Now it’s nothing!

(It’s at this point I would like you to google iron contain in Guinness… because I guess you would need quite a few pints a day to raise your iron levels… just saying).

So as well as trying to follow the guidance and be on my best behaviour I’m trying to give my child the best start in life. So that makes me boring .. so be it! However, some bright spark came up with a different type of alcohol free drinks.. that surprise surprise look like alcoholic drinks! Oh dear lord thank you!

First example.. the elderflower and green tea sparkling white that is available in Morrisons. Comes in a wine looking green bottle! Tastes delicious.. looks the part but it’s … drum roll…….

Alcohol free! Hallelujah!and about £2.50 in price! Epic!

If that wasn’t enough some equally bright spark at Heineken has produced a ZERO per cent beer! That is now being sold across bars and restaurants. So guess what you can look like your getting absolutely smashed but you aren’t doing anything at all! It even has a nice big zero written on the front so people can actually see you aren’t trying to harm your child. When they do that whole double take bump.. beer..bump.. zero.. ohhhhhhh thing! Excellent!

Equally it’s good for your bank balance as most places charge between £1.25-£1.50 for one. Tastes just as good as the real thing and is also perfect for the teetotaller or designated drivers! Amazing!

Steam mop…if you don’t have one.. invest! That’s all I can say on the matter really!

Gym ball. So over the last few weeks, I have literally been sat on my gym ball. Some would say it’s to coax the baby out.. and this is partly true. However it is the most comfortable item in my house. Overriding the couch and my bed by a long shot. I don’t know what magic powers it seems to have but it has been a god send!

Yes it takes up a lot of space. It when you can’t get comfortable at four am, then you sit on that ball! It takes so much pressure from your lower back and bump. Especially like me that the uterus has its own mind. I can’t praise it enough!

Do your research first! I can tell you now.. there is not a little bit of difference between a birthing ball and a gym ball.

Nothing! Absolutely NOTHING! They are made from the same material! They do the same job! The only difference is the price.

Birthing ball £30!

Normal gym ball £6.99…you can thank me later! Do not give in to temptation and buy it because it says “birthing” come on I know you are smarter than that!

Now that’s the “items” covered I can move onto people!

So I’m not going to list individuals to say thank you to but more give homage to the category they fit into. So here goes ..

Home delivery

Yes this may seem increasingly and incredibly lazy. But I have saved a fortune. I’m not distracted by things I could purchase. I have a set list. I press the list. And 3 hours later it’s in my fridge! Who doesn’t like that idea! On a practical note it actually saves me from going to the supermarket where I can not either get into a parent and toddler bay or I can not get out of the parking space because some idiot parks up next me. So it saves a lot of time! Thank heavens!

Bio oil… yeah I’m not sure how much this actually helps but subconsciously it has worked in my brain. The reality is I’m probably very lucky that my stomach has very stretch marks… and more will come out after the baby is here.. but if bio oil wants to take the credit then be my guest. Plus it’s really nice to just rub into your skin twice a day 🙂

Mummy friends. I know earlier (i this exact same blog post) I wrote “mums that speak from experience” this was not an attempt to display any sort of dislike for this group of friends. In fact I am very grateful for every bit of advice I have had from them so far. Because my friends with children are the ones who have been invaluable. I have watched for years as my mummy friends have gone on and had children, raised them.. handed them over to me as the single outcast so they can go and Drink a hot cup of coffee. I will be honest I never really understood it. But actually you can’t really until another life form takes hold of you and makes you into a weirdo…

But my god when you think at 2am that your losing your mind with pregnancy worries I have messaged them and they they have done their best to support me! And kept me sane! I don’t know where I would be without them!

My friends without children!

Are fucking awesome! If it wasn’t for them and their current adventures I don’t know what I would do! The best thing they have done in the last few weeks and months is talk to me about anything else other than pregnancy. About how their partner is a complete dick. How dating sucks! Do you know how much right now I miss just talking about normal stuff. Because as soon as you find out you are pregnant people don’t see past this at all! You are just a baby making machine and to hell with the individual actually making it.

Thank you to this group of wonderful people! I’m just sorry I’m not feeling too great to meet you all for coffee but just the invite alone means the world to me! Or just texting me to tell how Work is! Yes! I have used my brain for more than thinking about my next load of washing!

Equally this group of people currently has me distracted by wedding planning, Pinterest, love stories and a life of excitement!

People with a god damn sense of humour!

If you don’t have one just leave! I mean if people ask you do you know what your having…

and don’t find your response of “a baby” funny. They need to leave!

But when people just get that you may have sat on that chair at work, similar to the one the other 999 people have… and they laugh at the response of I hope it’s not plastic with wheels! Then they are should be kept close to you at all times! Because my god… they too are funny people!

Family… what can I say.. you have one family don’t lose them.

Hubby. Is amazing! Although he takes the piss out of me all the time. He is excellent! Incredibly excited and partly a bit nervous too! Thanks hubby!

Off to bounce around the living room on my ball!